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clothes free vacation, pt. 4: fun bits & firsts

So far, I’ve written a number of in-depth, soulful reflection posts about my first ever clothes free vacation. As I mentioned in my first post in this series, there were MANY firsts throughout this inaugural nakation. For this one, I’d like to take a pause and share some of the fun moments.

Also, we weren’t allowed to take pictures at the location, so… I edited some footage I had in my photo bank. I also made some fun attempts in Google Drawings. Permission to point and laugh.

Outdoor Co-ed Shower

  • My Friend: “Oh yeah, I’ve been through co-ed showers before…”

  • Me, out loud: “Mmm. Yeah, I’m sure it’s not weird or anything. Totally cool.”

  • Me, in my head: Um. What?!?!?! OK, I’m fine with standing around and doing all these fun activities and chatting with folks clothes free, but the shower? What if I want to shave? Is that weird?

Screen Shot 2015-08-04 at 6.25.31 PMSo I went and tried out the outdoor co-ed shower. Yes, the one that was attached to the back of the outhouse. Yes, that’s correct, the outhouse that was surrounded by RVs. Yes, someone was sitting outside having breakfast. No, they didn’t seem to care that I was out there shaving and showering.

A dude came over to use the shower next to me while I was there. It didn’t end up being a big deal to me, and I was happy about that. We said good morning to each other and just kept taking care of our own business.

OK, so my friend was right: no big deal. I hate it when he’s right. Not really. But really.

So…why do we have separate bathrooms and showers again in TextilesBurg? I really don’t see the point after this experience.

Pools and Such

Screen Shot 2015-08-04 at 9.45.12 PMSign: “Everyone must shower before entering the pool.”

  • Me, in my head: Cool, absolutely. That makes complete sense. 

  • Me, in my head: So…this guy is taking his time washing himself before the pool. I’ll just stand over here and wait, not too close, so that I don’t come off as creepy or weird. But also not too far away, because I don’t want someone to butt (ha ha) in front of me in the line. What’s the right distance? 5 feet? Let’s do 10 to be safe. Maybe 20? Oh hey the hands on this everyday $1 clock are interesting. They really do just tick tock away. Fascinating. Is this hanging plant real? Huh, guess not. OK, seriously, how long is this guy going to take?!?!?

And then it was my turn to shower in the little slice-away station by the pool.

  • Me, in my head: Great, there’s like 3 people waiting for the shower now that I’m in here. I don’t want to take too long, but I don’t want them to think I’m not showering enough before I get in the pool all naked and stuff. Maybe I should wash myself a second time. Let’s do 3 times to be sure. 

Screen Shot 2015-08-04 at 9.55.25 PMOnce I got into the pool, I felt refreshed given the high heat and humidity that day. But that was also another point where I didn’t know where to look or who to talk to, if I should talk to anyone. I stayed in a corner for a while. Then switched corners. My friend came in and we chatted for a bit. Then he went to bake on a chair, so I went back to a corner. Then another corner. “Oh! A woman is getting into the pool. Awesome. Maybe I can talk to her. She’s giving me eye contact…and a smile!” I smiled back and inched away from the wall. She offered a conversational open door. DONE! We started chatting!

Also, I’m burning my swimsuit. Now that I’ve been in an official pool clothes free, I just can’t with the fabric anymore. Literally no point.

Clothes Free Yoga Outside

Screen Shot 2015-08-04 at 10.13.03 PM…is AWESOME. Thank goodness my friend had boards, because otherwise there were these really sharp shards shooting up from the ground that would have hurt like crazy. Seriously, when I first put my mat down, it basically looked like lasagna in grass. So the boards gave me a nice flat, solid surface with which to work. It was a beautiful experience. Breathing fresh air during vinyasa is magical. And there is nothing like saluting the evening sky, reaching back in an arc to peek at the moon.

But, the bugs apparently wanted to get in on this action, too. The mosquitos were not the least bit shy. I went for a nice beautiful reach up through Mountain Pose with a deep breath in, and the mosquito bit the stretch marks on my arms. Forward fold, and another bite on the tush. Look, I’m all for bugs doing clothes free yoga in nature, too. But, really, do they have to be violent? Look, mosquito, just chaturanga!


 I didn’t know why people wore them. Most of the women wore them quite often at the festival, and a few men wore sarongs, too. I was like, “No! I’m gonna be die hard and wear nothing!!!” Also, I just like wearing nothing.

Then we checked out a naturist trail in the woods. I brought my sarong just because. I had applied plenty of bug repellant, so I thought I was all set. 6 mosquito bites on the legs later, that sarong was well fastened around my waist, shielding my legs.

No further questions.

Playing Music Outside

 I wanted the experience of playing my viola clothes free outside. I’m still in the squeaky stages of reconnection with my viola (and the fingerboard has penguin tape on it where my fingers are supposed to go), but playing it outside clothes free made it 12,102.72% cooler. The sun just has that kind of magic where once it hits my skin, I’m superwoman radiant and cool! So even my squeaks wore shades and redefined “awesome.” And my friend played guitar rockstar style. Basically, nothing beats clothes free music outdoors.

Portable Restrooms

Screen Shot 2015-08-04 at 6.08.35 PMProps to Empire Haven for taking exquisite care of the portable restrooms. I’ve never been in such clean ones before, EVER. The floors were pristine. There were no random “what IS that?!?!?” on or near the seats. Folks, these units were CLEAN. Oh, and they were always fully stocked. Can you imagine running out of toilet paper when you REALLY need it while at a clothes free venue for a clothes free event during your first ever clothes free vacation? Yeah, I’m glad that didn’t happen to me. Thanks, Empire Haven!

Also, you know, just in case, I always carried baby wipes. I mean, they are just miraculous.

Sleeping Clothes Free Outside

Screen Shot 2015-08-04 at 10.29.19 PM…ROCKS! The sun is just so soothing, and the sound of trees whispering sweet nothings to me was too much to resist.

Ok, but I did worry about falling asleep on one side, and then waking up an hour later with a completely uneven back-front tan like peanut butter on one side and dark chocolate on the other. My friend seemed to have developed natural auto-timing, and flipped back and forth on a mysterious internal clock. Me? I was counting “One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi…” to stay even. But that’s just between you and me, OK? Don’t go telling people that I actually do that. Gossip is bad.

Writing Clothes Free Outside

 I’ve written clothes free outside a little bit in my secret spot back in the city, but I always had to worry about whether someone is going to come around the corner. Right now, those chances are quite low, but in a few weeks, I really won’t have that option anymore. So, I was happy to take advantage of the opportunity to write reflections in my journal in the grass. It’s amazing how my thoughts just flowed when I put pen on the paper clothes free under the sun. I felt focused and experienced great healing.

Then the wind rattled the trees and a bug randomly fell from the sky onto a line of cursive confessions. I don’t know how much of it the bug read before I swiped it off the page. Hopefully it won’t be on the Cat Caterpillar’s Tonight Show.

There you have it, folks. A few fun excerpts from the clothes free vacation! More posts to come.

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7 thoughts on “clothes free vacation, pt. 4: fun bits & firsts

  1. Fantastic thoughts and few laughs thrown in too. Pretty typical of a clothes free day. At our resort it has 6 open air showers and it’s not uncommon to see an even mix of genders using them at the same time. Same for the club house, it’s like an old gym shower, full of shower heads along the walls. The sarong thing, wife and I have never understood that one either. You are laying out fully nude or playing a sport nude, need a potty break and you put on a sarong, don’t get it.

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