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Newbie to clothes free living asks -Is It For Real?

I have read that, for naturists, being clothes free is not about sex. I am currently struggling with this concept, because most of my “social” exposure to clothes free anything is online via social media with folks who do not necessarily live clothes free. Based on the conversations that unfold there, the question that comes to mind for me is, “Is it for real?”

hontouniheart upside down hideThis year in late summer I was tagged to participate in a naked yoga challenge. From there, not only did I slide into clothes free yoga, I walked further into the field of clothes free living. I found myself reading, cooking, writing, watching shows, even working clothes free whenever possible.

Writing clothes free allows me to go deeper into my personal exploration. Being clothes free puts me more in tune with my body, so I don’t tend to overeat like I used to. Practicing yoga clothes free feels natural and grounding. When I find opportunities at the office to shut the door and work clothes free, I am measurably more focused and productive. I feel at peace. This is just a sampling of the benefits I experience being clothes free on my own.

Yoga was a big part of my life before I went clothes free, so doing the naked yoga challenge was, for me, an exploration of being clothes free more than anything else. However, it seems that for 99% of those with whom I’m connected on social media, it is but a brief moment in time where they strip down for the pictures and post them. There is nothing wrong with that in my opinion. Sometimes what I feel, however, is that the conversations around the naked yoga posts turn sexual.

There is a lot of attention given to the body, especially, although not exclusively, women’s bodies. I see comments on the perfect shape of someone’s breasts or butt. There are suggestions of engaging in this or that, OMG you’re so hot. Some original posts initiate such conversations. And I don’t have a problem with anyone exploring that; each person has their own journey. However, my personal journey is elsewhere. From seeing those kinds of patterns and conversations, I find myself falling into comparison quickly. Am I not also interesting? Me and my nappy hair, black skin, body proportions, curves and so forth… do they deter people?

IMG_7998.JPG Then I have to bring myself back to the original intent of my exploration. I ask myself, “Why am I here? What is the purpose of my presence on this platform? Am I here to share my clothes free journey, yoga and beyond, or am I here to be liked and lusted after? What’s at the heart of my heart?” I have to get real with myself and spend some time sorting through my intentions. Every day. I cried about it when I wrote this post.

I am human (I think… hold on … yep, still human). There are always questions about self-concern and self-worth that pop up in me. I want to be liked, I want to be desired, I want to be seen as beautiful. I enjoy  expressing my sexuality when the time comes. BUT/AND – my clothes free journey is broader than that. It is an entire country outside of that one city of a topic.

When I’m not surrounded by those conversations on social media, I reconnect with the heart of what I’m after. I don’t get caught up in the comparisons and beauty preferences and standards, etc. I just feel like I’m connecting deeper with myself and more deeply with my environment. I feel more balanced. I feel more vulnerable. I can just be.

I’ve heard naturists say that they are not about the sexualization of the clothes free lifestyle. Is it for real? Was it always that way for you, or was there a shift when you went clothes free? Given the nature of the conversations I see in social media that aren’t driven by naturists, these questions pop up for me every day. Personally, my mind just doesn’t go to a sexual place when I see naked bodies. Yet, right now I feel alone in that perspective, because so much conversation that I see in the social media space in which I stand trends in that direction.

I’ve never been part of an experience where people don’t connect to one girl instead of me because her skin and small waist and perfect breasts are better than mine. What is it like to really be in a community where I can be in my own skin and have full vibrant connections with people regardless of my stretch marks and squishy bits? What does a world look like where — without denying that naturists have sexuality, attraction and connection as part of the human experience — the entire clothes free lifestyle is not sexualized?

I have to find out. I have to go by any means possible, to an in-person naturist event of some sort, because right now I feel a bit doubtful, scared and discouraged.

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15 thoughts on “Newbie to clothes free living asks -Is It For Real?

  1. Hi there – and as others have said, in my admittedly limited experience, yes: it is for real. I’m perhaps fortunate to have met warm, genuine people who enjoy being clothes free and exploring a different and more authentic way of living.

    But I’ve already learned to distrust just about anything that’s said or written by non-naturists about naturists: the sexualisation is both constant and also on a sniggery, immature level. I’m also aware – anecdotally – of people in naturist circles whose motivation was sexual. I therefore think that Bill Bowser higher up this thread may be right when he says: ‘unfortunately not all nudist websites are actually nudist websites. Many websites pandering to swingers or voyeurs masquerade as nudist websites’. My clothes-free friends have joked to me about encountering this, but they are very experienced naturists and confident as a result. What you are describing must feel unsafe.

    I wish you could come and hang out with us. Let me know if you plan a visit to London 🙂

    My final point

  2. I just read your post and love it and your question, “is it real”. I’m not sure where you are at with your quest to find and experience a true nudist environment but I’d like to give you and others a few examples and thoughts based on my 40+ years of being a nudist.

    First off, the vast majority of people, male and female you will find at a nudist resort really do just enjoy doing any and everything while being naked. Many, many times there is a real and quick connection with others in the nudist environment. There really is an immediate “trust” that occurs. That is none of the things I love about this life style. However, I will also say there are always a few instances where a sexual overtone becomes immediately apparent. It saddens me when I see that because it damages the “safeness” and non-sexual aspects of a true nudist environment.

    When you look for a place to experience being naked with others, do a little research. Resorts or clubs that are part of AANR have some basic rules and guidelines to help keep their locations safe for women and children.

    In contrast, if you go to a place like Black’s Beach in San Diego, anyone with whatever intentions, can go there and act in whatever way they want to. If you go there or to other clothing optional beaches, look for groups of couples to lay amongst. There is safety in numbers AND most of them will be there to just be naked in the sun and water. That is not say you wouldn’t see some things you couldn’t call sexual at open beaches. Again, for a single female, looking for a first time nude experience around others, I’d suggest a nudist resort. Then you can decide if in fact “it is real”. I look forward to reading about your experience. Regards, Paul

  3. It’s real. But it’s being attacked, both from prudes outside our ranks and from many who, knowing nothing of our ideals and practices, come in to our social media groups (where the admission standards cannot be as easily enforced as for “live” events) and treat them as sex or voyeur groups. And I am sorry you’ve had doubts because of these attacks. But be reassured that there are many of us who got into naturism and keep doing it for freedom and comfort, with no more thought of sexuality than at the average church social.

  4. Yes, clothes free living is for real, at least for me and some others that I know. I find many claim to enjoy social nudity, especially when they’ve had a bit of alcohol, but when the opportunity comes, they back out or treat it as exhibitionist activity. Not that I have anything against exhibitionism…the worst kind of this is of people who flaunt their obscene wealth in front of all us debt slaves!
    Anyway, clothes free living all depends on your attitude to it, your family or flatmates attitudes, neighbours attitudes to it…and of course, the weather 😉 I’ve managed about 60% or so whilst at home of completely naked living, weather permitting and neighbour and guest permitting. I’ve been blessed with tolerant neighbours, which you do need as an urban nudist 🙂

  5. Naturists have learned something that the rest of society fails to understand – nudity has nothing at all to do with sex. Most people probably get undressed more often to shower than they do to engage in sexual activity, but you don’t assume that all nude people are preparing to shower. Nor should you think they are going to have sex.

    Social media websites are generally poor sources of useful information. Most of your respondents probably have absolutely no experience with naturism. Unfortunately not all nudist websites are actually nudist websites. Many websites pandering to swingers or voyeurs masquerade as nudist websites. For an honest look at real nudism visit AANR.COM, the American Association for Nude Recreation website. There you will find answers to your questions.

    Good luck.

  6. The melanin content of your skin, how curly your hair is, your eye color, your breast size, the shape of your butt… none of these should be a deterrent for you. The human body comes in many forms, shapes, and colors, all beautiful. As a woman, you WILL be desired by men. It’s in our wiring, we kind of can’t help it. That’s why no matter where we come from, all our bits and pieces fit together quite nicely. I am fair skinned and still my bits would fit inside your bits and we’d have a grand time! (Trust me 😉 However, your value goes beyond what you as a woman can offer sexually. Your gift is your mind, your inquisitive nature, your ability to put this journey into words. Keep sharing that gift and enjoy your journey!

    (And yes, you are hot.)

  7. I think you should definitely go to a naturist event and talk to people. They will be friendly and will answer your questions honestly. Sexuality is part of life, but for naturists it is a private matter and it’s discussed, but not performed openly. The further along you go in your journey the better you will understand that being nude is completely natural and it will open your mind to a state of consciousness you will enjoy tremendously. It’s like a grand awakening of the soul and mind. Your appearance is not judged by naturists, however textiles will judge you based on the false stereotypes we’re all hammered with on a daily basis. Go for it and have fun. Stay naked!

    1. Thank you for this helpful share. Yes, my goal will be to venture to an event so that I can meet the proper folks in the proper setting and get a better perspective from just being with them and interacting with them. I can’t wait!

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